10/22/99, And now For Something Completely Different....part C
by Kaiburr

OBI-WAN:  And that, my master, is why my braid keeps switching sides.

QUI-GON:  This new information amazes me, my padawan.  Explain again how this
"Frank Oz" controls Master Yoda.

OBI-WAN:  Yes, Master.

RIC OLE:  Look, Master Jinn!    [trumpets]

QUI-GON:  Coruscant!

ANAKIN:  Coruscant!

AMIDALA:  Coruscant!

OBI-WAN:  It's only a Lucasfilm prop.

QUI-GON:  Shh!  Beings, I bid you welcome to your new home.  Let us fly...
to... Coruscant!

[in Jedi Council Chamber]
JEDI COUNCIL:  [singing]
We're Knights of the Jedi Code.
And most of us are wrinkled and old.
But we meditate and exasperate
While Qui-Gon Jinn we scold.
Our lightsabres they glow
At the annual Jedi Master drag show
[dancing]
We're Masters of the Jedi Code.
Our powers are many and old
Though many times Yoda speaks in rhymes
That could make your head implode.
And underneath our council robes
We are wearing women's clothes

[on Tatooine]
DARTH MAUL:  [clap clap clap clap]

[in Jedi council chamber]
KNIGHTS:  [tap-dancing]
In war we're tough and able,
Quite indefatigable
We mindwhammy defectors and Republic tax collectors
and use the Force to get free cable
It's a Jedi's life in Coruscant

YODA: When 800 years old, sing this well, you will not.

[on the Naboo cruiser]
QUI-GON:  Well, on second thought, let's not go to Coruscant.  It is a silly
place.

ALL:  Right.  Right.
 

THE END (Please, let it be the end...  Out, damned "Ni" saying, lightsaber
wielding plot bunnies... OUT!!)
 

Kaiburr is feeling much better now, honest. Send her encouraging notes at KwanYin4@aol.com