The Net is a dangerous place. You hear it often from scared parents groups and talking heads that I doubt even know how to use email. It's a misty, shadowy place where people change form at the drop of a hat and only keep their forms as long as it is useful to them. Who you say you are means nothing, or very little, because you could be a serial killer or a predator, or a man pretending to be a woman. This is how the talking heads want us to live. Not trusting anyone. Nothing is permanent on the net.

The self-proclaimed experts are right and wrong at the same time about this. Reputation is everything, especially on a system like IMC. The reason we do not allow you to have more than one account is because we feel that people should not be able to run away from their actions. You can start over many places on the net, but if you try it on IMC we will catch you. Honesty is not what we demand. Lots of people color what they tell people on the net, though I'd recommend against out right lying. There is always one person that knows the truth, and you have to stare him or her in the mirror every morning. There is a lot of freedom in the truth; you don't have to remember all your lies because the truth is easier to recall.

Now, let me make myself clear. I do not mean you should give people your personal information. That among other things can be dangerous. As the IMC Administrator that deals with stalking complaints, I've seen a lot of things that make me hesitant about people on the net. Even "sweet guys" that I think I know well might show up as names in my mail box one of these days. You can rape someone on the net, and while you might not have to go to the hospital, it can be just as devastating. Your feelings of security, safety, and privacy can be stolen. You feel dirty, and embarrassed, and like you should have known better or done something different.

So, here are some things to watch out for when it comes to potential stalkers. Does the person seem to wait for long periods of time in one room for you? Does s/he talk constantly about you when you are not there? Does s/he PM you often, unsolicited? Are your private communications a little more personal than you would like? Do they follow you from room to room and to rooms that they did not normally frequent before? Have you had to change your ICQ or AIM name to avoid them? Does s/he want to meet you IRL? Does s/he talk about that a lot? Has s/he sent you private messages of a sexual nature, unsolicited? Have they asked friends for personal information about you? Has the person gone to the trouble to find out your real name, especially if you have not used it or a version of it on the net? Has s/he shown up on your doorstep? Has s/he found out your phone number? Do you receive numerous phone calls from this person, more than seems normal to you? And do they give you an unsettling feeling inside?

You should not ignore your gut reactions to situations. They are often more true than when you rethink things. These are all warning signs. No single one of them means that you have a stalker, but it means you should be more careful. If you believe you have a stalker contact the local authorities if they are in your area, as several states have laws that cover this. Contact the postmaster of your stalker's mail service, they can usually be reached at postmaster@ followed the name of the service. And if they are on IMC, contact me. Or to take it a step further, if you know someone you think is being stalked, or is in a dangerous situation, please contact me. IMC takes this very serious, and we will do our best to protect our chatters. A last important note, not everyone is a problem. There are around 4000 chatters on IMC these days… the number of stalkers I know of can be counted on my fingers. My e-mail is kit@im-chat.com